loud-vagina's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I don't need anyone to be happy. I need to stop blaming any sadness or discomfort that I have on others. This is me. It is my life. My destiny is up to me and no one else. If I'm unhappy all I have to do is change my situation. If I get unhappy with Josh, then so be it. If it's necessary, we will break up. Life does go on. On the other hand, I love him too much to give up over a little stress. I don't plan on giving up either. I just talked to my dad. We are so much alike and it's crazy. He understood me to the point that I barely had to say anything at all. He knew that there was another guy before I said anything. I told him everything that happened over the past year or so, and he understands completely. He thinks I may need a break from school. He told me to do whatever the fuck I want, in a nice way that is. He knows what it's like to be in college and struggling with money. He had to do it, except he got side tracked and became a dad at such a young age. After that it was all thrown out the window. Bye bye track scholarship. He knows exactly what I'm going through and talking to him gives me so much hope and motivation. I need to stop for a while. Slow things down and have some time to think. Explore different things. Maybe I should volunteer at a hospice and realize how precious life is. Maybe I should get involved with after school programs. You know, anything that may peak my interest even in the slightest bit. Then I wouldn't have the stress of \"oh crap, I missed class again.\" Ok, so I got thrown off by eating from what I was going to say. All I know is that I'm doing what's right for me,and that's it. Screw society and what their standards are. I have family acceptance with my choices and now I feel free. 6:37 p.m. - 2004-11-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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